After his mother (Julie Kavner) passes away from a terrible yet unnamed illness, cynical photographer Bill Hoffman (Adam Sandler) agrees to her unlikely deathbed request: travel to all the places she lived and get someone in each town to make and sell her traditional Jewish food.
Continue reading Night 7 of “If Hallmark Made Hanukkah Holiday MoviesNewly divorced, angsty accountant Zach Segal (Adam Sandler) embarks on a journey around his mother’s house. He soon discovers the true pleasure of nourishment prepared by a mother (June Squibb) who’s been “holding in a lot about your ex-wife, the shiksa,” praying he can find a new rent-controlled apartment, finding love with the beautiful Jewish widow next door (Salma Hayak), then eating again because his girlfriend didn’t know he already ate. It’s fine. No, really, it’s fine.
Continue reading Night 6 of “If Hallmark Made Hanukkah Holiday Movies Starring Adam SandlerReporter Judah (Adam Sandler) has eight nights to complete a think-piece for his online news outlet about how Jews should embrace and participate in innocuous Christmas traditions such as stringing lights, decorating trees, and going to church a little bit.
For research, he visits his father, the heavy-handedly named Mattiyahu (a hologram of Marlon Brando), an observant Jew who retired in Sugar Plum, the town voted #1 in Christmas spirit. Over a mournful violin solo, Mattiyahu monologizes about the ancestors who fought for Judah’s right to celebrate a minor holiday where he gets eight presents. Or maybe one big one. Depends.
Continue reading Night 5 of “If Hallmark Made Hanukkah Holiday Movies Starring Adam Sandler”
Jackie Pick 