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Night 8 of “If Hallmark Made Hanukkah Holiday Movies Starring Adam Sandler”

MY DINNER WITH ROB SCHNEIDER

During Christmas Eve dinner at a Chinese restaurant, old friends Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider (playing themselves) engage in philosophical and occasionally self-loathing discussion of such topics as: the sacred and secular merits of a potential exegetical analysis of Deuce Bigalow’s Biblical themes, Bernie Sander’s theoretical yarmulke collection, and how they could have a lovely time with their kosher chicken and their electric blankets.

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Night 7 of “If Hallmark Made Hanukkah Holiday Movies

MANISCHEWITZ BY THE SEA

After his mother (Julie Kavner) passes away from a terrible yet unnamed illness, cynical photographer Bill Hoffman (Adam Sandler) agrees to her unlikely deathbed request: travel to all the places she lived and get someone in each town to make and sell her traditional Jewish food.

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Night 6 of “If Hallmark Made Hanukkah Holiday Movies Starring Adam Sandler

EAT PRAY LOVE EAT.

Newly divorced, angsty accountant Zach Segal (Adam Sandler) embarks on a journey around his mother’s house. He soon discovers the true pleasure of nourishment prepared by a mother (June Squibb) who’s been “holding in a lot about your ex-wife, the shiksa,” praying he can find a new rent-controlled apartment, finding love with the beautiful Jewish widow next door (Salma Hayak), then eating again because his girlfriend didn’t know he already ate. It’s fine. No, really, it’s fine.

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