MENORAHTY REPORT

America’s War on Christmas ended thanks to an elite team of “Precog” officers led by John Cohen (Adam Sandler). He relies on the Wisemen triplets (Kevin James, David Spade, and John Turturro) who can predict future heinous Crimes Against Christmas.

The Wisemen predict that Cohen will cause Christmas to disappear forever when he wishes someone at Home Depot “Happy Holidays.” Yet, one of the precogs tells a different version of the story which proves Cohen’s innocence and affirms that Christmas is not in danger.

But the real miracle of the holiday would be if the great Mandy Patinkin made a cameo as the judge deciding Cohen’s fate via moving Yiddish folksong.