Here is the secret lineup for future branded romantic adventures brought to you by Lifetime:
Past experience spoiled Chef Boyardee’s hopes for romance, but one saucy encounter taught him… Love Has No Shelf Life.
When his childhood sweetheart gives him an icy reception, the Kool-Aid Man pours his heart out to… Break Down the Walls of Love.
After a string of failed 15-minute relationships, the Geico Gecko learns there’s… No Insurance for a Broken Heart.
Chuck E. Cheese struggles to redeem himself when a stranger’s token affections lift him out of… The Ball Pit of Despair.
His ex-wife tread on his heart. Now the Michelin Man risks everything to… Find His Groove.
Charming grifter Lucky the Leprechaun promises the moon, the stars, and purple horseshoes to a series of unsuspecting widows in… The Cereal Monogamist.
Smokey the Bear built a fire line around his heart, but the tinderbox of new love burns… Out of Control.
Charlie the Tuna casts a wide net to find his heart’s desire in… Love’s Deep Waters.
Mr. Clean does America’s dirty work, but being a hero can’t erase his profound loneliness as he seeks…Clandestine Affairs.
Birdie and the Hamburgler are embroiled in a hot workplace romance. Do they have the courage to take their relationship…Beyond Meat?
Jackie Pick 
This is the third — THIRD — reference/conversation I had encountered this week regarding Lifetime and/or Hallmark Movies, most of which are Christmas-related romance films. My sister delayed her departure from our home on Thanksgiving for fear all she was going home to was an empty house and Hallmark Christmas stories. Her delay consisted of an accurate recounting of the plot outlines of such films, a summary that lasted nearly as long as the movies themselves. Last week, after her departure from our home, she sent a frantic text acknowledging she had succumbed to her addiction and was ensconced in a new Hallmark romanceless film. There was this fireman…
I would like to share with you the confession of a high school classmate, like you, a recovering author, whose time out from writer’s block was caretaking his elderly father, but I don’t want to betray the confidence of his Facebook post. However, if I were to share the social media post, I’d tell you that my colleague, while at his dad’s, also gave in to the Hallmark Romantic film lure…because he discovered that’s what his elderly father views. You’re welcome to keep the image, but I didn’t write that here.
There are other things I wish to share with you, seeing as how you’ve been on my mind much lately…first from the blog posts, then from the photo of you I unearthed from my archives the other day. I’d share them, but this is too public. I’ve taken too much space. Besides, it’s 10 AM. the alarm just went off for my favorite film with Lori Loughlin.
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