Today’s writing was all painful truths. One essay is something that, if shared, might cause upset in a very close-knit artistic community. It’s certainly not in a state ready to be shared, and I certainly would never share it just to make waves. But it’s painful in the base case, and wondering how it would be received makes it more so. Of course, that’s never a consideration when I write. I’ve learned to let those thoughts run loose only once I hit “save” for the day and sit quietly.
I wrote of my experience with sexism and anti-Semitism during my limited time in improv. The memories, some comfortably in storage for the last six years or so, crawled out of their cozy compartments and poked at me to get my attention. Perhaps they were emboldened by recent political events. Or perhaps they came forth because I’m feeling open to writing my own experiences without worrying about my legacy.
Both of today’s essays today are about vulnerable moments. My weakness, both internal and perceived by others. Memories that make me cringe or cry. Or want to time travel and take my younger self by the hand and give her some of the strength and wisdom-via-age that I can claim now. Essays that I don’t think I would have had the courage to put to paper even a year ago.
Growth is sometimes measured in bravery.
Hard day writing. Good day writing.
I like it when my totals for the day end up a nice round number. I have approximately two or three more days until I hit my 50,00. I’m excited and ready to slow down and focus on making these essays and stories work. Right now, I have pages upon pages of something that cautiously approaches good. And messy.
Day 19 Stats:
- Essay: “Intersection of Improvisation and Online Comments” 1844 words
- Essay: “Milestones” 1056 words
Daily Word Count: 2900 words
Total Word Count: 45,257 words